Thursday, May 21, 2015

The Cancer Kid's Sister



This is a little story about what it was like for me when my little brother was diagnosed with cancer..

May 21st 2005 was a Saturday I will never forget.  The weekend started out like any other weekend. I had two friends sleep over that Friday night, and when we woke up my parents were talking about taking my little brother, Tom, to the ER because of some strange bruises he had.  These bruises were black, the darkest bruises you could ever imagine all because the kids in his class at school were playing the pinching game that week.  My friends and I were sitting in the basement on the couch when my brother came down stairs and said “mom and dad are going to take me to the ER” I told him “yeah, you probably have the black plague and you’re going to die in 3 days.”  I wanted to be the mean big sister and scare my little brother.  I had no idea that I would end up being the one scared that day.  My parents took my brother to the ER, my sister Sarah drove my friends back to their houses, we listened to country music in the car on the way home, it was supposed to be a normal weekend..  When my sister and I got home, we were hanging out and realized mom hadn’t called us to let us know what was going on with Tom.  So my sister called my mom.  I was in my bedroom and Sarah was in the kitchen on the phone.  I heard her say “I’ll tell Kelley” so I came out into the kitchen.  That’s when my sister told me that my brother was diagnosed with leukemia. 

The first time I remember ever hearing what leukemia was, was when I was in 7th grade.  I sat next to a girl who had leukemia when she was 4.  The only reason it came up was because she was celebrating a cancerversary.  I didn’t realize how amazing cancerversaries can be.

When I heard that Tom had cancer I didn’t know what to do, I remember crying and I ran into the bathroom, I wanted it to be a lie, I wanted it to be fake like there was no way my brother could have cancer.  I did what any other high school girl would do, I called my best friend, Alex.  She was one of the friends who had slept over that Friday night.  When I told her the news she broke down crying, crying so much she couldn’t talk so she handed the phone to her mom.  I had to say it again “my brother has cancer.”  Her mom calmed me down, Alex got back on the phone with me and we said good bye.  I had plans to hang out with my friend, Robert, his parents were coming to pick me up.  Sarah went to the hospital and I didn’t. I still regret not going but I didn’t know how to do it, I didn’t know how to see my little brother in the hospital fighting for his life.  When I was hanging out at Robert’s house his little brother was being pretty annoying, wanting to hang out with us.  When I would look at his little brother all I could think of was mine.  Am I even going to have a little brother anymore? Is he going to die? Saturday was the longest day of my life.

Sunday I went to the hospital.  I walked in and saw my little brother in bed, and I immediately ran into the bathroom so I could cry, I didn’t want my brother to see me crying, I didn’t want him to know I was scared.  I was so scared.
 
Monday I had to go to school. How can I go to school when my little brother was in the hospital?  At lunch Alex and I went to sit at our normal lunch table.  At this table we all normally made fun of each other, Alex told the guys to not make fun of me that day because my brother was diagnosed with cancer.  Sitting at the table everyone was awkward, then a guy who was sitting at the table with us asked me “is your brother anything like you, because if he is, he is going to be ok.” Thanks Will for that.  I had swim practice later that week and I overheard a girl talking about how her little buddy got diagnosed with cancer. I asked her what his name was and she said, “Tommy Frasier.” I said, “That’s my brother.”  My brother has cancer. This cannot be real.  I am the cancer kid’s sister.

I remember one day that week my dad came home to get some stuff for my brother and mom to have at the hospital.  He was going around grabbing pictures and I was following him, watching him. As he was walking down the hall I saw it, I saw my dad cry.  Dads are not supposed to cry.

If you know me, you know I try to be funny 95% of the time. Sometimes it is annoying, sometimes I really am funny.  So of course I had to continue this through my brother’s treatments.  My mom called me “the family cheerleader.”  It was a lot of pressure for someone who thought their best friend, their little brother was going to die. Every day I did it, every day I tried to be my family’s cheerleader.
 
3 ½ years passed and my brother finished treatment.  He survived.  He kicked cancers ass.  Sorry for the language but seriously it is our family’s favorite thing to say.  I still cry when I think about that day, I still cry when I think about all the things my brother went through.  I still cry when I think about the idea that my brother almost died.  The doctors told my parents that if he wasn’t brought in on that Saturday he would’ve probably died on Monday.  I am so thankful my brother survived.  Today, Tom is 21 years old, he is my best friend and I don’t know what I would do without him. 

Tom survived cancer but unfortunately cancer is the disease that keeps on giving. Because of all the treatments Tom has no immune system and has to get what is called an IgG transfusion every three weeks so he can have an immune system. 

Today, May 21st 2015 is my brothers 10 year cancerversary.  10 years ago my brother started a fight.  Today kids everywhere are starting that same fight.  Some will win and kick cancers ass.  But some will not.  Some won’t make it.  That is why I want raise awareness for childhood cancer. 
 
I am sharing my cancer kid’s sister story because I take childhood cancer awareness seriously. Through my social media I post sad pictures of my brother going through treatments, I post sad statistics about how many kids die. KIDS DIE! That means sisters and brothers everywhere lose their siblings.  They don’t get to go to their sibling’s high school graduation.  They don’t get to have their siblings at their weddings.  They don’t get to go to the bar with them once they turn 21 and buy them a drink.  Kids can’t fight cancer alone.

Just recently Ellen DeGeneres made a challenge to post a video of you dancing to raise awareness for childhood cancer. Use the hashtag #justkeepdancing and post some videos.  It will make all the little kids fighting cancer happy, I promise!

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